Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Me + Christmas Music = No.

I had a great Thanksgiving; but, after the usual amount of family drama, exhausted and overstimulated toddlers, and fierce loathing of my family's city, I'm happy to be curled up in my bed, writing to you all.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's socially acceptable to play Christmas music. Although, my sweet mother doesn't quite understand the whole "socially acceptable" thing and forced me to listen to her favorite CDs on the 4 hour ride to see our family the day before Thanksgiving. If there's anything you should learn from reading this blog, it's that I hate Christmas music. Of course, I'm not a total Scrooge, but I literally enjoy about 5 Christmas songs and there are literally 800,000 of them, with more being written each year! Why don't I like Christmas music? I can't really tell you. Maybe it's because there are 500 versions of all 800,000 songs and every public place you enter in December seems to be playing the exact same loop of them. Or maybe it's because songs like Santa, Baby and I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus exist. I mean, really. One is about flirting with an old, fat guy to get nice shit and the other depicts a potentially ruined marriage. WTF, Christmas? Obviously, there are a number of reasons why I hate Christmas music.

One of the albums I was lovingly forced to be exposed to was Michael Buble's Christmas.

Even he looks uncomfortable with his rendition of Santa, Baby.

This album is at least 2 hours long. It's like Michael Buble decided that he was going to sing every Christmas song ever written, which, as I said earlier, is a lot. Congratulations, Michael Buble. Your Christmas masterpiece is longer than a book on tape. Wait, do they even call them that any more? Whatever.

All that being said, Fate thought it'd be super hilarious to bless me with a child who loves Christmas music. Of course.


The Average Person

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